Li Lian

Today is Monday September 21, 2020
  • I have to keep reminding myself over and over again…

    Life is not always going to be all puppies and rainbows. It is not realistic for my baby to be happy all the time.

    Life is never going to be perfect all the time, so I should allow my baby to feel some (and I do mean SOME, not too much) distress, frustration and unhappiness.

    I will repeat this to myself every time I hear my little one cry. It’s ok to be sad sometimes (though I doubt she knows what sad feels like). It’s ok for her to express herself.

  • Week 19: You Rock My World

    Dearest Ollie,

    I am still deciding if I should start calling you Livvy instead… that’s more feminine.

    And I am still trying to get over how much I love you! Though I don’t think that’s possible.


    It is quite easy to make you smile… all I have to do is go “geh-geh-geh-geh-geh”. For some reason that highly amuses you.

    There, that is you holding your arms out for me to carry you…


    Actually, not really… You were just trying to catch my hands (and probably pop them in your mouth). You like pinching now… so I get lots of pinches from you especially when I am dressing you after your bath.

    Talking about baths… You love your baths… each time I bathe you, I get soaked too because you like kicking water and making sure there is no dry spot left in the bathroom.

    The screaming has stopped, and you go to sleep rather easily for day time naps now… Once upon a time, your PaPa asked me when you would learn to fall asleep by yourself… I guess this is the week you did. You fell asleep playing; by yourself…


    I did a victory dance and high-fived myself a dozen times when this happened…

    Turning over is more natural to you now… I don’t have to wait days and days before you turn over again from your tummy on to your back.

    Seeing you grow and seeing your smile is one of my greatest joys my little precious toothless baboo!

    Love, MaMa.

  • About jumping out windows…..

    Overheard the husband saying to Little O, “If you ever become as stubborn as your mummy, I will jump out the window”.


    Things that make me want to jump out the window:
    1. If I am told again to let the baby cry it out because letting the baby cry will exercise her lungs.
    2. If I am being asked again if my boobs are producing enough milk for Little Miss O. Have you seen a picture of her? She is hardly the picture of a hungry baby! Puh-leese!
    3. Telling me my baby is crying because she is hungry… Like that is the ONLY reason babies cry…

  • Week 16 – Constant change

    Dearest Ollie,

    Silly MaMa thought you are now 4 months till my friend pointed out that you would only be 4 months on the 5th of July.

    And 4 weeks has gone by since I last wrote.

    You still like change a lot. Just when I thought you’d nailed your routine – you will change. For an entire week you would sleep through the night and awaken only when we wake you up – what a dream baby! And suddenly you would think it is more fun to wake at 5.30 or 6am, and you would do this for a couple of days… and start waking up only when we wake you again.

    You’re a screamer. This has been quite constant. You would scream and scream inconsolably when you are tired. You are the perfect example of a cranky baby. Just like your PaPa – no one gets to mess with your sleep. So what I do now is, I put you in your cot before you get tired. You would not fall asleep straight away, you would move your head right and left a couple of dozen times, you would giggle, you would suck on your fingers, you would coo, you would stamp your feet till the entire cot moves, you would fuss a bit, sometimes you would cry a bit for me to pick you up – but you will eventually fall asleep. But what I would have to do is to stand by your side while waiting for you to fall asleep, though you don’t look at me all the time, you would know when I am not there anymore and will cry out for me. Sometimes you are real good and will fall asleep in 10 minutes, and sometimes you would make me wait like a ding-dong for over 30 minutes. MaMa spends alot of time waiting for you to fall asleep… but it sure beats your screaming, because you are capable of screaming for 20 to 30 minutes before you finally calm down and fall asleep. And sometimes when you do it all right and fall asleep by yourself in 10 minutes, I will do a little victory dance for you. I am that proud of you. You also have a bed time chant when you are tired. Its not really a cry… but a howling like sound, woo-woo-woo… and you do this when you’re tired from crying, and just about to sleep.

    About two weeks ago, you flipped over, from your tummy on to your back – twice in a row. So motivated you are to not be on your tummy! And then we couldn’t get you to flip over again for another 10 days – and then you flipped over three times. And now, you wouldn’t do it again. You would just rather bury our face in the floor and scream. You wouldn’t even bother lifting your head up – you look like you would rather suffocate first, though you probably know I will come to your rescue.

    You like sucking your lips… and you do it so voraciously! And so loudly too! Because you have no teeth, you do it really really well. If ever they gave out medals for lip sucking, you would win the gold medal.


    You are also very good at reaching out and taking everything I give you… and straight in to your mouth it goes. You kiss everything given to you.


    You also love watching television.

    How is it I have only known you for such a short time, and yet I feel like I have loved you all my life? Every time you smile at me or I am able to make you giggle, my heart goes out completely to you and I know I will do anything in my power to keep you safe and happy. I feel so proud of myself when I can make you giggle.

    Baby girl – I love you so much.




  • Breastfeeding challenges – My story: An update

    It’s been more than 2 months since I ranted about the challenges of breastfeeding here.

    Since then – things have definitely improved.

    My breasts are still somewhat public domain as people still want to look at the baby feeding… I am still the last one to bed every night as I still have to pump before I go to sleep… There is no such thing as lying in; by 7am the boobs are like ripe melons ready to burst, and I still don’t know how much baby is eating. And that one time when my breasts were so engorged because of a blocked duct and I thought I was going to die while baby and I were crying simultaneously – me from the pain, her from hunger and difficulty in drinking from a totally swollen nipple!

    That – and the fact that I can’t fit into most of my clothes because of my now Double D boobs!!!

    However, it did get easier… and I don’t feel like my baby is still craving for more… and nor do I feel like I don’t have enough for my baby anymore. My body has adjusted according to baby’s needs and I hardly ever wake up drenched in milk anymore.

    To all new mums who are breastfeeding – it will get better… being patient will pay off.

    I am still not one of those mums that have excess or unlimited supply of milk… but I think I have got the hang of it now. Plus, my friends shared with me that I will never need to produce 8 ounces of milk for my baby because the milk I produce will be according to baby’s needs, and will adjust in fat and nutrient content automatically – and all baby will ever need is just 4 ounces (thereabouts). Only formula fed babies may need up to 8 ounces. PHEW!

    And it all literally happened overnight.

    Suddenly… it just clicked and everything fell in to place… ‘cha-ching!’….. ba-da-bing! ba-da-boom!

    One important change I made that really helped as well … I waited till my baby is really hungry – or somewhat hungry before I fed her. That way, she feeds more efficiently and less frequently, so my breasts actually have time to fill up. I previously always thought I did not have enough because I was allowing my baby to snack, so it felt like my breasts were empty all the time.

    Again, to all breastfeeding mummy’s out there… happy feeding, good luck continuing,  remember patience – it will pay off… and it gets better and better!

    I am certainly so happy I persevered!

    And now… I want to breastfeed my baby as long as I can, and have her only on breast milk before the next stage/challenge comes along – introducing solids! I can already imagine the oncoming nightmare where everyone will want to have a say on what solids I have to feed my baby.