Li Lian

Today is Sunday December 16, 2018
  • Mighty Boo!

    This is a story about Boo Boo Kow.

    Boo Boo who can gather all his MIGHT! and look MIGHTY SAD! MIGHTY GRUMPY! MIGHTY INTENSE! and MIGHTY CONFUSED.

    With all the might in him, he looks MIGHTY sad when we tie him up, because he had sprained his buttocks and is not allowed to walk around too much. Just for TWO weeks…

    MIGHTY confused as to why he has to be tied up.

    Then back to looking MIGHTY sad – like it is the end of the world (the end of his doggy world, at least) that he cannot move more than 2 feet from where he is.

    Then with all the might in his doggy world, he gazes with MIGHTY intense at the food we are eating. Salivating all over. His eyes burning in to each and every one of our bites of food! (Because he has the MIGHTY STARE)

    He can be MIGHTY patient, waiting up till 60 minutes before we feed him something, already!

    Then with MIGHTY stupidity he drinks from the toilet bowl, and eats his own poop. And with that same MIGHTY disgusting mouth – he kisses mummy, and licks me and favourite sister all over.

    Boo gives a MIGHTY growl when he wants to wake me up in the morning to let him out. Despite all his MIGHT, as he rushes out the door (with his MIGHTY little legs that run SO FAST you cannot see them, it becomes a blur), he cannot control his bladder, and ends up pee-ing half way out the door. But he does NOT forget to aim at something first, so there is pee on a standing object that he has aimed for, and all around that object. It’s like water art, that becomes sticky after awhile. *GAG*

    All other times, he tends to look MIGHTY grumpy. Or maybe he’s just perpetually MIGHTY CONSTIPATED. But in my eyes – he’ll always be MIGHTY CUTE!

    And I could go on and on and on talking about MIGHTY BOO, but you may not have the same MIGHTY patience as Boo, in which case, I’d also start sounding MIGHTY boring, and very repetitive.

    Awww….. MIGHTY SWEET!

    Oh! One more MIGHTY characteristic.

    BOO IS ALSO A MIGHTY SHOW OFF! But I’ll save that for another day.

  • Freaky! Growing meat without the animal!

    We’ve grown livers, bladders, hearts and blood vessels in labs for transplant.

    And now we’re going to grow a piece of meat for food?

    If it tastes just like chicken, or beef – but it was GROWN! Would you eat it? Would you?!

    It’s skipped the entire process from egg to chicken, or baby cow to big cow. BUT IT IS JUST LIKE, A PIECE OF MEAT, CULTURED AND TASTES JUST LIKE CHICKEN OR BEEF!

    Eating a drumstick from a chicken that was never an egg? That would eliminate the ‘chicken or egg’ debate of course!

    Eating steak that has never moo-ed?

    Ee-yew!

    I’m feeling kinda sick – and don’t think I could eat that.

    Ha! Says me who eats meat that has been slaughtered! Mercilessly? Mercifully?

    For full story, read here.

  • Shopping at Banana Republic

    Me to the sales assistant at Banana Republic, “Are you going to have a sale soon?”

    Sales assistant – Blinks at me and smiles.

    I blink back, “Are you going to have a sale, a promotion soon?”

    Blink, blink. Smiles.

    “Do you understand English?”

    “Yee-ees”

    “Are you going to have a sale soon?”

    Blinks and smiles again.

    OMfG! What’s wrong with him? I try again, speaking slowly – “Do………. youuuuuuuuuu….sssssss-peeeeeeeeeeek….. inggggggggg-lish?”

    There – that should do it!

    Blinks and stares at me some more – he is starting to resemble a lizard that blinks and stares now, and I am getting impatient. But he replies, WITH A GIGGLE! – “Yeeeee…issssss”.

    What was the giggle for?!

    “Eeeee-ffffff…. youuuuuuuuuu….. un-derrrrr-stand…. ingggggg-lish….. cannnnnn…. youuuuuu…. telllllllllllllllll…. meeeeeeeeeee…… if….. youuuuuuuuu…. arrrrrrrrr….. ggggoinggggggggggg…… toooooooooo…….. haveeeeeee….. a….. sale….. soon?”

    Smiles at me and giggles again!

    If I ever I was going to have a heart attack! It is going to happen now!

    But all I wanted to do was punch his nose – and wipe that stupid silly smile off his face!

    I never had a clue my verbal skills were THAT! bad!

    At that point – I burst out laughing and demanded, “If you understand English, then you must understand what I am saying. Tell me, BOY! what’s wrong with MY! English?!”

    If ever there was to be another heart attack – it would be him! THE BOY!

    The look on his face? Priceless! And he didn’t dare GIGGLE at me again.

    I am just not myself lately – when did I become so mean?

  • We are still on the story of apple pie…

    Me to kakak : May you please heat up a small piece of apple pie for me? And I would like it with vanilla ice cream.

    30 seconds later.

    I am staring at apple pie floating in white substance.

    Kakak : Eh, the ice cream melted in the microwave oven. I only put in 30 seconds.

    I blacked out from laughing so hard due to the rapid intake of oxygen from laughing like a hyena. When I regained consciousness, I looked at my pie soaking up the white substance, and I blacked out again.

    SERIOUSLY?! THE ICE CREAM MELTED IN THE MICROWAVE OVEN?

  • Apple pie – The food for champions (Part 2)

    Ta-DAH!

    The absolute BEST apple pie I have ever tasted!

    It doesn’t look oh-so-pretty… but it’s ALL in the taste.

    And all that have tasted my apple pie – said it is good…*GIGGLE TILL I START SNORTING*… After I told them I don’t take negative criticism very well.

    And I am only posting this now – because once it was ready to eat with vanilla ice cream, AND after having it with vanilla ice cream, I passed out from happiness and exhaustion.

    I CAN BAKE!