I feel my mouth foaming, the pulse on my temple swelling to the point of rupture, and my hands white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.

I am starting to have a nose bleed from the pressure build-up, and I can taste vomit at the back of my throat.

Then, BOOM! My head explodes and my brains are splattered all over the dashboard.

I have the worst luck in all eternity, spanning across the galaxy when it comes to getting from Point A to Point B. It is the force of the universe that is against me! More so, when I am already late. This must be my payback for being so anal about punctuality, and taking the mickey out of people who are late.

And then I drive past the Petronas in Bangsar. And there are more than 20 taxis queing up for NGV. No wonder this 2 lane road, is now ONE lane. I wish I was a dinosaur, and with one swift, carefully aimed swish of my tail – I could flick all the taxis off the main road. But then again, if I were a dinosaur of that capacity – I’d also stomp, stomp, stomp on the cars that are in my way. I’d be a happy-smiley dinosaur, all my sharp teeth visible, once I am done stomping. All the cars in the way will be ingrained on the road. It may be peeled off the road for recycling. I am smiling from ear to ear from this thought.

Then I have to get on this road off Jalan Semantan, where the UOA building is. And there are all these cars parked illegally, making an already small road, only 5 feet wide. I have envisioned many times, stopping my car, getting out of it, and smashing the windows in, their side-view mirrors off with my very powerful unbreakable steel baseball bat (I am not sure one exists, but it looks like a baseball bat). D-oosh, doosh, doooosh, doosh….. Bash! Bash! Smash, smash, smash! Ha!Ha!Ha! My insane laughter overpowering the sounds of shattering glass and crunching metal. I feel so powerful – like the Master of the Universe!

Clearly.I.Have.Gone.Insane.