Personal Space Invaders, and I don’t want them to f*#king cast their shadows on me!

It really makes me want to smack them hard on the face when they get too close. I don’t need ANYONE breathing down my neck, nor looking over my shoulder, or appear to be trying to look down my blouse. If I can smell you! You’re definitely too close and should back the f*#k off!

What is it with people who like to stand really close to you when in a queue? I just don’t get it!

I was waiting in line to clear immigration at the airport the other day. And this man with no sense of boundaries starts standing really close to me. I could not move away as that would mean getting close to the person in front of me – and I did NOT want that. I don’t like close contact, or ANY contact with strangers.

He had his newspapers under his arm, and kept poking me with it. I was THAT! close to screaming assault and slapping him in the face. The more rational me, instead told him to stop poking me with his newspapers.

I could feel the anger rising up from my toes to the end of the tip of my hair when he replied – “Oh. But I only did it ONE time”.

OH! So he DID! KNOW! that he was poking me with his newspapers because he was standing so close! Never mind that he thought he had only poked me ONE time. I was stabbed with his newspaper 7 times before I could no longer tolerate it.

I am so lame! I retorted – “Now that you know that you are poking me with your newspaper, please stand further away, and stop doing it!”.

I cannot believe THAT! was my only response. Why didn’t I slap him? Why was I not more abusive? Was that the best abusive sentence I could come up with? Why didn’t I scream vulgarities at him?

The nerve of that man when he mumbles under his breath that it was only ONE time that he had poked me with his newspaper.

If only my turn wasn’t up next…..

Sigh… I am so hopeless! And so lame!