I am a cry baby.
I feel like crying in frustration when I am stuck in traffic. I feel like the entire world is against me because I am stuck in traffic. Yes, I am a moron that way. Yes, I am not a good person in that way. People all around the world have far bigger problems – no clean water, starvation, natural disasters – and here I am thinking the world is against me because… I am stuck in traffic. (Yeah – I know they’d be people out there who want to put me on a bus to the land of flames and gory)
At the moment, the thought of moving out, makes me want to cry. It’s not because I don’t want to live with my husband to be. He is after all a sweetheart, and will give in to me as long as I don’t infringe his boundaries – whatever that means. (But that’s another story). I will miss my mum. I will miss my sister. I will miss my dogs. I will miss everything that I have at home now.
And it’s not even like I am moving out of the country, or out of the state – I am moving 20 minutes away from home.
I am excited about my wedding and moving out to my new home – the next chapter. And yet – the thought is overwhelming, and I am of mixed nerves, and feelings.
And I am constantly on the verge of tears.
I imagine myself entering walking in at the dinner reception to the song I have chosen (All you need is love – Bee Gees) and I get all teary eyed.
I imagine myself making a speech – and I am afraid I might not make it (nervousness set aside). I am choked with emotions – the thought of it is making me want to cry. Not that my speech is even near ready!!! I only think about what I want to say and even thinking about it – I feel a tightening in my chest, butterflies in my stomach, and I feel like throwing up.
What kind of a nut job am I? Oh – and a big wimp while we’re at it.
But you know what? I will survive this experience, and I will triumph. I am certain of this because I am one lucky woman who will have those closest to me be there for me and to support me – and to love me no matter what.