Category Archives: Daily

Today is Monday July 16, 2018
  • Irritating Emails

    I received this email over the weekend – and it really annoyed the hell out of me. It’s really no big deal, but the least this person could do was write properly. I am just as sad as this person, because I actually replied his email.

    His email – entitled INVESTMENT PROPOSAL:

    DEAR,

    I USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO INTRODUCE MYSELF AS MR NIZAM AKIM,A BUSINESS MAN. I AM PRESENTLY AT UK FOR A BUSINESS TRIP , I HAVE DECIDED TO EXTEND MY BUSINESS NETWORK. HOWEVER INVEST AT MALAYSIA AS ONE OF THE FAST GROWING COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, HENCE I CONTACT YOU TO ASSIST ME AS A LOCAL SO THAT I WILL NOT FIND IT SO DIFFICULT TO INVEST MY MONEY IN MALAYSIA. BE ASSURED OF 30%, OF ANY INCOME WE WILL BE MAKING IN ANY OF THE INVESTMENT GO INTO OR ESTABLISH THROUGH YOU. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST ME FOR THIS. IF (YES) I WILL COME DOWN TO MALAYSIA IMMEDIATELY TO ENABLE US MEET AND DISCUSS ABOUT THE WHOLE ISSUE , PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECT VIA THIS SAME E-MAIL ADDRESS.

    REGARD

    MR. NIZAM AKIM.

    And my spur of the moment reply to him, whilst I was very annoyed:

    Dear MISTER Nizam Akim,

    Please improve your English Language skills before considering sending out mass emails like this.You are not able to form proper sentences, nor convey your message in this email. I have not a clue what you are trying to say. I wish you all the best in your future undertakings, starting with improving your language skills.

    Please do not email me again. Have a good life.

    Yours sincerely,

    MISS Li Lian.

  • Sweets!

    Dessert cravings?

    Bakerzin at Bangsar Village 1, Dessert Buffet, Mondays to Fridays from 7pm (they close at 11pm). RM30++ per person.

    No pictures, but their dessert is made only when you order. So it’s SOMEWHAT fresh. And all mini sizes so you’re not too overwhelmed till the end – when you cannot move and feel like puking and have ice cream coming out of your ears.

    Most of their dessert comes with a scoop of ice cream. So, I probanly had 8 scoops of ice cream in total! OMG! Oink-oink-oink.

    My favourite – creme brulee (pistachio and vanilla), warm chocolate cake with ice cream, raspberry souffl’ee with ice cream (they also have chocolate and grand marnier), warm apple tart also with ice cream… And a whole lot of other desserts.

    The verdict – 0.5kg’s heavier the next morning.

    O.M.G.

  • Balding? I Understand How You Feel

    This is my luscious locks…..for now…..

    For the past 3 weeks, each time i wash my hair, clumps of it comes out. Strands after endless wet strands of my hair sticks on my palms, in between my fingers. I stare in horror and dismay, but there is not much I can do but rinse it off. And it clogs up my shower area.

    I seem to be shedding.

    This is worrying me.

    I never knew how a balding person felt, but I do know now. When I talk about my balding woes, nobody cares, and they don’t seem to think it is important, and no one pays any attention. They don’t think it is important. Nobody seems to think it is an issue. They think it is a joking matter. But I know now. And if you are balding, you have my heartfelt sympathies.

    Cause of balding? It’s hereditary (neither my mum nor dad is balding) so it must mean the other factors that is causing my hair thinning – nutrient deficiency, hormonal change, stress, age (women in their late 20’s to 40’s may experience hair thinning).

    I am quite sad.

  • RAGE

    I feel my mouth foaming, the pulse on my temple swelling to the point of rupture, and my hands white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.

    I am starting to have a nose bleed from the pressure build-up, and I can taste vomit at the back of my throat.

    Then, BOOM! My head explodes and my brains are splattered all over the dashboard.

    I have the worst luck in all eternity, spanning across the galaxy when it comes to getting from Point A to Point B. It is the force of the universe that is against me! More so, when I am already late. This must be my payback for being so anal about punctuality, and taking the mickey out of people who are late.

    And then I drive past the Petronas in Bangsar. And there are more than 20 taxis queing up for NGV. No wonder this 2 lane road, is now ONE lane. I wish I was a dinosaur, and with one swift, carefully aimed swish of my tail – I could flick all the taxis off the main road. But then again, if I were a dinosaur of that capacity – I’d also stomp, stomp, stomp on the cars that are in my way. I’d be a happy-smiley dinosaur, all my sharp teeth visible, once I am done stomping. All the cars in the way will be ingrained on the road. It may be peeled off the road for recycling. I am smiling from ear to ear from this thought.

    Then I have to get on this road off Jalan Semantan, where the UOA building is. And there are all these cars parked illegally, making an already small road, only 5 feet wide. I have envisioned many times, stopping my car, getting out of it, and smashing the windows in, their side-view mirrors off with my very powerful unbreakable steel baseball bat (I am not sure one exists, but it looks like a baseball bat). D-oosh, doosh, doooosh, doosh….. Bash! Bash! Smash, smash, smash! Ha!Ha!Ha! My insane laughter overpowering the sounds of shattering glass and crunching metal. I feel so powerful – like the Master of the Universe!

    Clearly.I.Have.Gone.Insane.

  • VW Cars – The B#%tards!

    Yes, yes, yes. I know there is no need for name calling.

    This is the latest email I had to send to them. You can see why I may be frustrated!

    And I didn’t get a reply! Pfftttt!!!

    ~~~~~

    Dear Kelvin Khaw,

    I hope this email finds you well.

    It is also beyond my belief that I have to yet again write to you despite your assurance that – quote “we take pride in the products and services that we offer to our customers” and “we are confident that VW Cars, as a Volkswagen authorised dealer, will provide you with improved service for your future vehicle needs” unquote.

    I realised that the bottle opener had been removed from my car – about 5 days after I have got back my car. Perhaps this needed a service to for whatever reason you will then come up with to assure me.

    So it was early last week that Thomas the GM said he would be sending back the bottle opener.

    You must have guessed by now that I am writing in to inform you that no bottle opener has been returned.

    Not able to get hold of Thomas yesterday, and instead spoke to Robert who said the bottle opener will be returned yesterday – with a gift.

    Perhaps the delay was caused because he is picking out a gift. Such thoughtfulness. Please inform VW Cars that we do not need a gift. We just want the bottle opener returned.

    I think my entire experience with VW is focused on delay, procastination, and your inability to be time conscious. This must be the CORE of your service – that VW appears to be so confident about.

    I tremble in fear at the thought of my vehicle’s future needs.

    I am sure you appreciate my feedback and comments. Please do take time to look in to getting my bottle opener returned.

    As always, please be assured that I will be informing my family, friends and e-community of my VW experience.

    Have a nice day.

    Yours sincerely,
    Li Lian Kow.