Category Archives: Daily

Today is Tuesday November 20, 2018
  • Arghhhhh!!! SEVEN POUNDS OF LARD!

    After 30, women lose about 5 pounds of muscle a decade, causing them to burn about 70 fewer calories a day — enough to add 7 pounds of fat a year.

    I can so confirm this! It’s a fact! And you don’t get to choose where the fat is deposited. Since I turned 30 – it’s all been heading for the ass.

    All SEVEN POUNDS OF FAT! IN TWO MONTHS!

    It feels like it’s been waiting for the past 30 years – and has decided to hit me – with all SEVEN POUNDS of it! IN ONE GO!

  • Generally, I’m not in to politics but I thought I’d share this…

    Badge

    I came across this today – and the rude-ness of this made me giggle a bit.

    These pins were actually being sold at the Republican State Convention.

    Ok, ok… I know it’s not THAT funny!

    What is funnier is that I am a DIM-WIT when it comes to anything political – but this made me giggle.

    And I am not racist!

  • 30 Things and I love my new hairdryer

    I turned 30 on 17 May. (Yeah, so this post is late too…)

    And so I was contemplating coming up with a list of 30 things about me, 30 great lessons in life, 30 things I have learned in life, 30 things I want to do before I die, 30 things not to do, 30 things I love. etc. I think you get the picture…

    And then I doubted whether I could come with with 30 things of something of the same thing, related things, sequential things! So I finally decided, I’d just put 30 random sentences together, the first 30 things that come to my head and number them 1 to 30. How genius is that? I suppose with being 30 comes a certain wisdom.

    This list, to celebrate me being 30 years of age.

    1. I woke up aged 30, and it’s not like my life changed over night like I thought it would.
    2. It takes me more than 30 minutes to read the newspaper (so I end up not reading the newspaper daily) because I read everything including the advertisements, and then I read it backwards starting from the bottom of the page to check for spelling errors.
    3. When I boil spaghetti, I count how many strands/pieces I am going to put in the boiling water.
    4. I would like to go to Brazil before I die, and Las Vegas, and to the great wall of China.
    5. I obsess about my weight a lot.
    6. I don’t know why people dig their noses in the car, and think that the person in the next car can’t see them.
    7. I press the lift buttons many times and repeatedly as I am convinced this will make the lifts go faster.
    8. I think I have the best dogs in the universe – Boo Boo and Tango.
    9. I think the Japanese language is so sexy – tamagotchi, o-hai-yo!, suzuki, doraemon, shiseido, sushi, nabeyaki – ahhhh… that just sends a shiver down my spine.
    10. I don’t understand why people dig their noses, and roll it around their thumb and forefinger before flicking it.
    11. I love buying cosmetic products that smell like food, creme brulee, chocolate, vanilla, honey, strawberries and I wonder why they cannot be eaten.
    12. I want to learn how to fart on demand – any time I please.
    13. Wentworth Miller is HOT!
    14. The worst song released EVER that makes me want to cry in agony and probably cause me a brain aneurysm is Umbrella by Rihana.
    15. My sister is my best friend in all the world and also the skinniest person I know.
    16. I find Gordon Ramsay entertaining and amusing – this is so masochistic.
    17. I love my mum to bits, and truly admire her even though I don’t tell her often enough.
    18. I feel truly blessed in so many ways, so happy to be alive and I don’t even have to be a trust fund baby.
    19. I need to eat more vegetables and fruit so that I won’t be so constantly constipated and can poop on demand after every meal.
    20. I am a true technical idiot and sometimes fear technology, and thank goodness for technical friends like Jackie Ho.
    22. I hate driving at night because I don’t see very well in the dark and my friends scream murder at me when I say I have to get home early!
    23. I am a supplement junkie – I take more than 8 capsules of supplements a day, and yet none of it helps me poop right.
    24. I always wish for a 3 day weekend.
    25. I think my boyfriend is hot, and I love the way he smells.
    26. I think motorcyclists don’t treasure their own lives enough to drive safely on the road.
    27. When I drive, I sometimes have visions of running down a flock of birds (those that twitter away on the middle of the road) but I’ve never succeeded in doing so.
    28. I love watching Grey’s Anatomy, the cast is so screwed up!
    29. I hate Rachel from Friends and I am happy that Brad Pitt hooked up with Angelina Jolie instead.
    30. I must be so self obsessed and obsessive to have bothered coming up with a gibber-jabber list like this.

    See point number 15! She bought me a fancy hairdryer for my birthday. It’s a Panasonic Ionity DOUBLE ion hairdryer! It dries my hair in minutes, and blow dries it real smooth.

  • Shopping at Banana Republic

    Me to the sales assistant at Banana Republic, “Are you going to have a sale soon?”

    Sales assistant – Blinks at me and smiles.

    I blink back, “Are you going to have a sale, a promotion soon?”

    Blink, blink. Smiles.

    “Do you understand English?”

    “Yee-ees”

    “Are you going to have a sale soon?”

    Blinks and smiles again.

    OMfG! What’s wrong with him? I try again, speaking slowly – “Do………. youuuuuuuuuu….sssssss-peeeeeeeeeeek….. inggggggggg-lish?”

    There – that should do it!

    Blinks and stares at me some more – he is starting to resemble a lizard that blinks and stares now, and I am getting impatient. But he replies, WITH A GIGGLE! – “Yeeeee…issssss”.

    What was the giggle for?!

    “Eeeee-ffffff…. youuuuuuuuuu….. un-derrrrr-stand…. ingggggg-lish….. cannnnnn…. youuuuuu…. telllllllllllllllll…. meeeeeeeeeee…… if….. youuuuuuuuu…. arrrrrrrrr….. ggggoinggggggggggg…… toooooooooo…….. haveeeeeee….. a….. sale….. soon?”

    Smiles at me and giggles again!

    If I ever I was going to have a heart attack! It is going to happen now!

    But all I wanted to do was punch his nose – and wipe that stupid silly smile off his face!

    I never had a clue my verbal skills were THAT! bad!

    At that point – I burst out laughing and demanded, “If you understand English, then you must understand what I am saying. Tell me, BOY! what’s wrong with MY! English?!”

    If ever there was to be another heart attack – it would be him! THE BOY!

    The look on his face? Priceless! And he didn’t dare GIGGLE at me again.

    I am just not myself lately – when did I become so mean?

  • We are still on the story of apple pie…

    Me to kakak : May you please heat up a small piece of apple pie for me? And I would like it with vanilla ice cream.

    30 seconds later.

    I am staring at apple pie floating in white substance.

    Kakak : Eh, the ice cream melted in the microwave oven. I only put in 30 seconds.

    I blacked out from laughing so hard due to the rapid intake of oxygen from laughing like a hyena. When I regained consciousness, I looked at my pie soaking up the white substance, and I blacked out again.

    SERIOUSLY?! THE ICE CREAM MELTED IN THE MICROWAVE OVEN?