About the Author

Today is Tuesday August 11, 2020

136 Posts By lilian

  • Grumpy as hell

    Everything irks me.

    For the last 7 weeks, the longest stretch of sleep I have had is 3 hours.

    I have become this terrible person. Everything irks me. I am short tempered.

    I just screamed at my daughter because she was testing my patience. I made her cry and I feel terrible.

    The husband annoys me – just by being in the same room.

    I look at my son, and all I wanna do is give up.

    I hate this me.

    But I am just so tired.


    Of course I have help. More help than most people. Yet, tired to the bone I am.

    I just want to curl up in a corner – hide there, hope no one sees me, and bawl my eyes out.

    I am waiting for this feeling to pass. I hope things fall in to place soon. Or I might possibly go crazy.

    I shouldn’t feel this way because I know I am so blessed to have this beautiful family of mine.

    Forgive me – this terrible me I have morphed into.

  • Month 22: Your vocabulary

    Dearest Olivia,


    You’re such a wonder to be with… and you are developing so quickly, I wish I could keep up with your many changes and progress, and I wish I updated my blog about you more often. I will try my best.

    You are beginning to speak more now, not in sentences as you still prefer signing to us.

    In no particular order some of the words you use;

    You call your grandparents; Wa-Ma, Neh-Neh and Dah-Dah.

    Your aunties; Yee-Yee and Deh or Doo-Doo (don’t ask me why you insist on calling your Goo-Goo Deh).

    Barney: Bar-Bar

    Elmo: Mo-Mo

    Water: Ahhhh….. the sound you make at the end of a cold drink.

    Turtle: Turtle

    Rabbit: Rabbit

    Dog: Bow-wow or wow-wow-wow

    Paper: Paper

    No: No-no-no, while shaking your head

    Book: Book

    Down: Down (you can’t say up)

    Kai-kai: Dai-dai

    Poo-poo and Pee-Pee: Pah-poo while tapping on your diaper urgently

    Sleeping: You make a snoring sound, and tilt your head to one side, resting it on your shoulder

    Snack: You tap your mouth

    Rice: Ya-ya

    Pasta and noodles: Pa-pa

    Yes: Ya (though you prefer the word NO)

    And just recently you try to repeat the words we say to you as best you can.

    We try our best to understand you… and you are so expressive with your gestures, and single words which you try to string together with your expressions, I dare say we understand what you want most of the time.

    I don’t know why I have forgotten to mention your ‘smell-smell’… You can’t say ‘smell-smell’, but you start sniffing away in a particular way which we understand as you looking for your ‘smell-smell’. It’s just a shirt that mummy has worn before… and there’s no tricking you by giving you any other shirt. Weird.

    You need it for when you sleep. Its your lovey, your comfort.


    You kind of progressed from being happy with one smell-smell to two to three. You decided you needed three during my two night stay at the hospital and will hunt high and low if even one was missing, you would be incomplete.

    I love you my first offspring.


  • Week 5: Welcome!

    Dearest Theo,

    You have taught me that it is possible to split up love ad infinitum and not decrease a single portion of it.


    Thank you for showing me what I did not think was possible.

    Love, Mummy.

  • Ending 2012

    The world didn’t end… and the best thing to have happened this year…


    This is happiness.